When my ex and I split up after a very long 12+ years, we divided a life. That process included our dogs. Hitch was our first dog ever. Not a family dog, but my own, adopted into our arms to make our duo a trio. He was four when we got him. He was ten when I left. His face was speckled white with time, but his cookies-and-cream paw remained unchanged. I’m smiling as I’m thinking about the tiny speck of white at the end of his tail, as if it were dipped in paint.

I was cheated on. For the last time. I took our second pup Olive. He kept Hitch. And I cut contact completely. Which meant I also cut myself off from ever seeing Hitch again. I was heartbroken, but that boundary was the only thing keeping me from going back to this tumultuous relationship.

Every now and then, I think about Hitch. Wonder how he’s doing. Or if he’s even still alive. The most heartbreaking part is not knowing, but I chose not to know. It hurt too much.

This April, I had a dream. My first ever about him. In the dream, a friend texted me a photo of Hitch, and he looked younger and full of joy. I texted back asking how he was, and they said: “He’s doing great.” Then suddenly, I was there with him!

The place we were in was absolutely surreal. The walls were kissed with sunlight and painted a vibrant teal with golden accents and gold frames of renaissance art. There was no ceiling, just sky and light. Lush green nature overtook everything like beautiful ruins. There were crisp, still, cerulean reflective pools, and music that felt joyous and alive and timeless. Hitch was running and splashing in the pools having the time of his life. I got to hug him, and it felt so real. I cried and told him I missed him. That I’ve always loved him.

I got that chance.

And then I woke up.

I don’t know if he’s gone. I’m on the fence about otherworldly things like this. But I’ve never dreamed about him before. And this felt… healing. Like a visit. And maybe he’s passed.

It was closure I didn’t know I needed.

Wherever you are, Hitch — thank you for saying goodbye. I love you, Hitchy-Bee.

(I used ChatGPT to recreate what I saw in my dream. When I saw this, I cried. It looks just like him.)